Grandparents -Advice or no Advice?
Are the grandparents being pushy or just trying to be helpful?
Grandparents have a wealth of information under their belts and many love to share this information
with you. Sometimes some grandparents can be a little over enthusiastic driving new parents nuts with
their “helpful “suggestions. Are they being helpful or meddlesome?
Sometimes you may interpret the advice as “You don’t know what you are doing” or “You’re doing it
wrong” instead of realizing that they’re just trying to be helpful. Grandparents have two things on their
side: one, they’re our parents and two, they’re still alive meaning they probably knew a thing or two
about raising kids. In the minds of the grandparents they are making sure their grandchildren are cared
for in the most proper way.
What to Do if You feel you are being unfairly pushed:
1. You and your spouse need to be on the same page. United!
2. You need to speak to the grandparents together (both sets-yours and his)
3. You both need to let them know that you might have a different way of doing things but you
need their support.
4. Say it with a smile
5. If the advice or their actions (for instance taking a child out of his bed when you are trying to
sleep train him or giving a bottle to a nursing baby – unless it is breast milk). I can tell you, my
mother, who was terrific, always accused me of letting my child sit in a wet diaper. When she
babysat we noticed the “hundred” diapers in the diaper pail- most not even wet. Oh well, not so
bad. But you must be strong when real boundaries are crossed.
6. Be clear but not harm the relationship
7. You did not know that you would become a psychologist regarding the grandparents plus
becoming a loving parent.
Love and respect are the key –You know modern grandparents tend to want to help. (Aren’t you
lucky). Do not make them feel out of place and uncomfortable because they think you do not want
them around. (Remember the words BABY SITTER) There is no one better to take care of your child
and would face a roaring lion to protect their grandchild. Just write down a schedule and a list foods
the baby/child cannot eat.
8. Ask them for their opinion. That will bring them to their knees and they will just love the heck
out of you.
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