Grandparents -Advice or no Advice?

Are the grandparents being pushy or just trying to be helpful?

Grandparents have a wealth of information under their belts and many love to share this information

with you. Sometimes some grandparents can be a little over enthusiastic driving new parents nuts with

their “helpful “suggestions. Are they being helpful or meddlesome?

Sometimes you may interpret the advice as “You don’t know what you are doing” or “You’re doing it

wrong” instead of realizing that they’re just trying to be helpful. Grandparents have two things on their

side: one, they’re our parents and two, they’re still alive meaning they probably knew a thing or two

about raising kids. In the minds of the grandparents they are making sure their grandchildren are cared

for in the most proper way.

What to Do if You feel you are being unfairly pushed:

1. You and your spouse need to be on the same page. United!

2. You need to speak to the grandparents together (both sets-yours and his)

3. You both need to let them know that you might have a different way of doing things but you

need their support.

4. Say it with a smile

5. If the advice or their actions (for instance taking a child out of his bed when you are trying to

sleep train him or giving a bottle to a nursing baby – unless it is breast milk). I can tell you, my

mother, who was terrific, always accused me of letting my child sit in a wet diaper. When she

babysat we noticed the “hundred” diapers in the diaper pail- most not even wet. Oh well, not so

bad. But you must be strong when real boundaries are crossed.

6. Be clear but not harm the relationship

7. You did not know that you would become a psychologist regarding the grandparents plus

becoming a loving parent.

Love and respect are the key –You know modern grandparents tend to want to help. (Aren’t you

lucky). Do not make them feel out of place and uncomfortable because they think you do not want

them around. (Remember the words BABY SITTER) There is no one better to take care of your child

and would face a roaring lion to protect their grandchild. Just write down a schedule and a list foods

the baby/child cannot eat.

8. Ask them for their opinion. That will bring them to their knees and they will just love the heck

out of you.

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